Top 10 Reasons To Sleep In

We all have to get up in the morning and most of us don’t enjoy it very much. I am not particularly fond of this ritual and decided to make my case for not getting up early. They are not really in order. Here are my Top 10 Reasons I Don’t Mind Sleeping In:

  • People are grumpy in the morningWhen I walk into work at 7 or 8am I am not usually greeted with cheery, smiling faces. At that dreadful time my coworkers more closely resemble something from Dawn of the Dead and are about as pleasant.
  • It is colder in the morningThings start warming up when the sun somes out. Why can’t we just wait for that?
  • Everyone else is asleepNot much happening. Some may refer to that morning time as quiet and peaceful, I think of it as lonely and unproductive. Everyone else is still cozy in dream-land and I have to throw on a tie and stumble out to the car for the long commute.
  • You have to make the coffeeBeing the first up may have some advantages……but not many. For the most part you just end up catching the wrath of late sleepers for what you neglected to do.
  • Won’t fall asleep at my deskGetting enough sleep is so ridiculously important. Take away a couple hours from my regular sleep quota and the day is pretty much shot. I usually find myself resorting to StumbleUpon just to try and stay awake. The boss doesn’t find it very funny when he finds me completely zonked on the job.
  • Reduced back painThis won’t apply to everyone but is huge for me. My back is totally screwed up and if I don’t get enough Z’s then I will pay for it big time.
  • Miss the morning trafficThe days I forget to set the morning alarm tend to have the best commute. Imagine that. If I just wait another half hour I don’t have to park my car on I-127 to let 5,000 morons on at Jolly Rd. Smooth sailing after 8:30am.
  • Shorter work dayDuh. Coming in to work late is like fast-forwarding to try and get to the best part of the day: leaving work. Punch out at 5 either way so why not just skip the first hour or two……or three anyway.
  • Everyone assumes you must have done something interestingThis has been my observation. If I come in late, everyone gets this idea that I must have been to some wild-drunken party last night or my car broke down or I was held hostage by Libyan rebels. I kind of enjoy this and keep score in my head on how many will believe my fictitious excuse.
  • You don’t have to tiptoeIt can be very challenging trying to get dressed and find your wallet and make your lunch and tie your tie and everything else, all without turning on lights or making any noise because you don’t want to disturb all the fortunate souls who are not doomed to your unpleasant fate of working traditional business hours.
Note: Don’t show this to my boss.
Another note: If you are my boss reading this….I can explain….it was these Libyans you see….they held me at gunpoint…..

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